


Turned Into A Monster

by Brumeier



Series: Bite Sized Fic [26]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bug!John, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Iratus-mutated Sheppard, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 15:30:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5972008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/pseuds/Brumeier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>LJ Comment Fic for Lyrics prompt: <i>Stargate Atlantis, John Sheppard (+/Any), Iratus bug</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>a monster, a monster / I've turned into a monster / a monster, a monster / and it keeps getting stronger</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Turned Into A Monster

John was still in quarantine after being transferred back from the medical complex on M88-T74, though at this point it was more to keep away from other people and not because he was in danger of infecting anyone. It’s not like he had anywhere to go. They didn’t want him on Earth, and his continued residence in Atlantis seemed just as unlikely. He’d lost his commission, his home, even himself.

He was a monster. And always would be.

One bite from an infected girl and John’s life as he knew it was over. Carson had been able to arrest the virus, and even reverse it to a certain degree, but John would always look like a freak. None of the SGC’s doctors or geneticists could help him. No alien healing technology had taken the scales away. Even the back-alley doctors from the Pleasure Dome, who dabbled with riskier medical techniques, had been unable to make John fully human again.

He’d finally seen his face, had insisted they bring him a mirror. There were blue scales all down the right side of his face, and down his neck to his clavicle. None on his chest, but he could feel them on his back; they wrapped around his ribcage and curled around his bellybutton. His right leg was all scales, the toes on that foot like talons. There were more blue scales on his right arm, from shoulder to elbow, and his pointer and middle fingers were longer than the others, the nails sharp and curving. His right eye was a deep shade of yellow, the pupil distorted.

John had broken the mirror, shattered it into a million tiny slivers and sent the nurse running scared.

What the hell was he supposed to do now?

There was a soft knock at the door, and John considered ignoring it. If he wanted to keep himself locked in, Atlantis would make that happen. The city still embraced him as her own, and it made his chest hurt to think of losing that last connection to his old life.

Something heavy thumped loudly against the outside of the door and John huffed out a laugh despite himself. He gave the command and the door slid open, letting in Teyla and Ronon. Teyla pulled up a chair, but Ronon just flopped down on the end of John’s bed, barely giving John time to pull his legs up before his feet got crushed.

“John. It is time for you to leave this room.” Teyla didn’t waste any time with pleasantries. “It is not healthy for you to shut yourself away.”

“No-one wants to see me,” John replied. He waved his unaltered hand in front of his face. “Not like this.”

“They need time to get used to it,” Ronon said. He leaned back on his elbows. “Can’t do that if you stay holed up in here.”

“What’s the point?” John didn’t care that he sounded pathetic. He’d been low before, sure. Being thrown out of the house by his father, losing Holland…he knew loss. But this was different.

Teyla smacked him on the chest, startling him. Even Ronon was wide-eyed. 

“The John Sheppard I know would not be so ready to give up.”

“I’m not that man anymore, in case you hadn’t noticed.” John crossed his arms, angry. “The nurses are afraid of me. My men can’t look me in the eye. I have fucking _claws_ , Teyla!”

Teyla shook her head, eyes snapping. “That is the outside. Inside you are still the same.”

He wasn’t, though. Not really. His sense of smell was heightened. His reflexes, too. The vision in his altered eye was sharper, deeper, different. Maybe there’d be even more changes, who the hell could say for sure?

One thing he knew for sure, no-one would want him. Not physically. He knew he’d been good looking, before. Had used that to his advantage on missions. But who could look at him now and feel anything other than revulsion? He couldn’t even stand looking at himself.

“Your life is not over,” Teyla said softly.

John turned his face away. “It may as well be.”

*o*o*o*

Two years later a mission took John to the Pleasure Dome, and he met the only person in two galaxies who honestly seemed to like the scales. In fact, Rodney McKay, Hub drone and unsung hero of the Wraith war, found the scales sexy. Found _John_ sexy. Even risked his life to save John’s.

And a future John never thought he could have was suddenly within his grasp.


End file.
